Posted by: eliseanne | March 23, 2010

On “Chivalry”…

This article from the CBE blog has a great description of the problem with “chivalry” as it is tied to men’s and women’s worth and value.

I believe in caring for others and loving other people. So I open doors for others if I get there first. If they open a door for me, I am appreciative and go through.

I have found that some men cannot, or will not, go through a door that I open for them. It is also awkward when I dont want to sit down, if a man offers me a seat.

An excerpt:

I appreciated his gesture, and told him so. I also assured him that I really, truly wanted to sit where I was. A lively dialogue ensued, with him practically begging me to take his seat, and me insisting that I was sure—yes, really sure—that I would much prefer the floor. After more verbal tug-of-war than I care to recount, my friend looked at me helplessly and finally protested, “But… you’re a woman!”

And another:

The issue can be confused sometimes, seeing as chivalry and biblical servanthood can outwardly look the same. But in my observation, the problem with chivalry lies not so much in its actions as its intentions. For instance, it is one thing to be asked, “I see that you have X need; may I do Y for you?” It is another to be told, “I see that you are a woman. I have been well-trained in how to treat women. I shall therefore do Y for you.” The first makes me feel honored and blessed. The second makes me feel embarrassed and a bit put upon.


Your thoughts?



  1. My comment is that I miss your blogs. Will you be blogging again soon???

  2. i love you! i havent checked this thing in months. perhaps I should start again!

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